At the Fish & Co, Changi Airport - the day EH left for HK, on a weeklong study/business trip
Sophie and James together...
Her first passport photo!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Photos
Just three ...
At the Fish & Co, Changi Airport - the day EH left for HK, on a weeklong study/business trip
Sophie and James together...
Her first passport photo!
At the Fish & Co, Changi Airport - the day EH left for HK, on a weeklong study/business trip
Sophie and James together...
Her first passport photo!
And four months later...
So much for regular posting : (- with two kids, I hardly have the time to go to the bathroom, let alone blog. James has also fallen in love with our computer, because I rather foolishly introduced him to the joys of Sesame Workshop and Thomas and Friends. These are great websites for kids, by the way - James loves playing Elmo's key-boardorama, which explains why he calls our computer "Mo-Mo". Needless to say, I can never be on the computer whilst he's around or I risk being plagued by an endless background drone of "Mo-Mo... Mo-Mo..", building in intensity until the inevitable crash. Even when he's napping, it's tough if Sophie is awake - she hates lying down and can't sit on her own yet. I could leave her on the mattress but she has a very piercing cry. Anyway, she'd wake James, and I'd be back to square one again. So I'll surf with her sitting on my lap - can't type one handed, or can't be bothered to anyway. That's why my e-mails have become so terse. Today is a rare occasion! It's Jame's nap time, and for once it has coincided with Sophie's! And I haven't anything else pressing to do... well, I'm sure I would if I thought hard enough about it, but I want to type!
Two kids is a big step up from one. I think, especially for pampered Singaporeans with our support systems and maids. Ee Han and I have found it really hard making time just for ourselves. Going out means bringing at least one of the kids along. We like taking Sophie out at mealtimes - because she's not yet independently mobile.
James has been very very good with her though - initially he got a little jealous when I picked her up, but now he's fine with it. He still hates for daddy or our helper to carry her. But we've noticed a boost in his general awareness & maturity since she came along, and now he likes laughing, dancing and playing with her, and is even a little better at playing with others. He has become more tantrumy though - dunno if its mainly teething or mainly new baby or whatever, it's been painful. Also, with growing awareness has come conscious and deliberate disobediance... so we thought it was time to start disciplining.
Yuk, the "d" word. We really delayed implementing it, but things have been getting worse. It came to a point, a few weeks ago, when we both looked at each other and said, "He rules our house!" That was the last straw, and we came up with a set of household rules (modelled off a set we got at a parenting conference at church) which we have stuck on the wall, along with our "Naughty corner" procedure and some bible verses about discipline, to encourage us and strengthen our will when we get weak!
Two resources I've used:
Ted Tripp has terrible reviews just because he is pro-caning, but I really doubt those negative reviewers have read his book through. The method he advocates is so far from what the common idea of caning is. We love the biblical grounding this book has. If you're christian and looking for a biblical way to raise your kids, I really would encourage you to read the book. We found it a real challenge for ourselves. It certainly made us think: are we going to subscribe to the world and what is culturally condoned, or are we prepared to do something that we'll be vilified for, provided it is (and we feel it is) biblically justified? The only thing is, he has intepreted "the rod" quite literally, to mean corporal punishment. Yet, the rod could refer to "discipline", in any form, whether corporal or not? That said, if the aim of discipline is to bring around an awareness of wrong doing and to awaken the conscience, then maybe physical punishment gets the child there quicker. You know how the bible talks about brokeness in spirit? For a child, getting a controlled spanking might be the way to bring him there. Certainly reasoning alone is OUT. Just look at Proverbs - foolishness is bound up in a child's heart and a fool resists instruction, insults and mocks those who try and teach him.
Supernanny is our "for the time being" method. It's been two weeks and I wonder if we are some how doing it wrong? Yesterday, I was at it with James for 2 whole hours because he would not stay in his corner for 2 minutes. From what I've seen on tele, if the child leaves the naughty corner, and isn't prepared to apologise, you are meant to bring him back, explain again why he's there, and start the 2 minutes all over again...? Well, you can imagine how many times I had to bring him back to his corner over that 2 hour period - he just wouldn't stay. He wasn't sorry either, he was angry-crying/screaming the whole time, and still trying to hit me (which is what got him there in the first place). It was difficult to keep my cool, and my "low authoritative voice" got more than a little harried. FInally he stayed for an accelerated 2 minutes (I cut the time to 1.5 minutes). I went to get him and he apologised (- I think he meant it, a little. But I do know he partly did it to get out) and I let it go. Heb 12:11 (or 11:12? 11:21?) says all discipline is painful at the time, but will result in a harvest of righteousness and peace... certainly James was sweet natured after the incident and seemed full of peace. I didn't though, and I suspect it is because I lost my cool.
That Hebrews verse is great to check on the effectiveness of the discipline session - again, this is from Ted Tripp. If the child is still defiant - i.e, no harvest of peace and righteousness - he says the discipline session is not yet over.
So, we will keep persevering with Naughty Corner for now - we're giving it until he turns two and a half, and see how it goes. We may then move to spanking. We're holding off spanking right now, because communication is such a vital part of the process, and James' understanding really isn't there yet.
Two kids is a big step up from one. I think, especially for pampered Singaporeans with our support systems and maids. Ee Han and I have found it really hard making time just for ourselves. Going out means bringing at least one of the kids along. We like taking Sophie out at mealtimes - because she's not yet independently mobile.
James has been very very good with her though - initially he got a little jealous when I picked her up, but now he's fine with it. He still hates for daddy or our helper to carry her. But we've noticed a boost in his general awareness & maturity since she came along, and now he likes laughing, dancing and playing with her, and is even a little better at playing with others. He has become more tantrumy though - dunno if its mainly teething or mainly new baby or whatever, it's been painful. Also, with growing awareness has come conscious and deliberate disobediance... so we thought it was time to start disciplining.
Yuk, the "d" word. We really delayed implementing it, but things have been getting worse. It came to a point, a few weeks ago, when we both looked at each other and said, "He rules our house!" That was the last straw, and we came up with a set of household rules (modelled off a set we got at a parenting conference at church) which we have stuck on the wall, along with our "Naughty corner" procedure and some bible verses about discipline, to encourage us and strengthen our will when we get weak!
Two resources I've used:
Ted Tripp has terrible reviews just because he is pro-caning, but I really doubt those negative reviewers have read his book through. The method he advocates is so far from what the common idea of caning is. We love the biblical grounding this book has. If you're christian and looking for a biblical way to raise your kids, I really would encourage you to read the book. We found it a real challenge for ourselves. It certainly made us think: are we going to subscribe to the world and what is culturally condoned, or are we prepared to do something that we'll be vilified for, provided it is (and we feel it is) biblically justified? The only thing is, he has intepreted "the rod" quite literally, to mean corporal punishment. Yet, the rod could refer to "discipline", in any form, whether corporal or not? That said, if the aim of discipline is to bring around an awareness of wrong doing and to awaken the conscience, then maybe physical punishment gets the child there quicker. You know how the bible talks about brokeness in spirit? For a child, getting a controlled spanking might be the way to bring him there. Certainly reasoning alone is OUT. Just look at Proverbs - foolishness is bound up in a child's heart and a fool resists instruction, insults and mocks those who try and teach him.
Supernanny is our "for the time being" method. It's been two weeks and I wonder if we are some how doing it wrong? Yesterday, I was at it with James for 2 whole hours because he would not stay in his corner for 2 minutes. From what I've seen on tele, if the child leaves the naughty corner, and isn't prepared to apologise, you are meant to bring him back, explain again why he's there, and start the 2 minutes all over again...? Well, you can imagine how many times I had to bring him back to his corner over that 2 hour period - he just wouldn't stay. He wasn't sorry either, he was angry-crying/screaming the whole time, and still trying to hit me (which is what got him there in the first place). It was difficult to keep my cool, and my "low authoritative voice" got more than a little harried. FInally he stayed for an accelerated 2 minutes (I cut the time to 1.5 minutes). I went to get him and he apologised (- I think he meant it, a little. But I do know he partly did it to get out) and I let it go. Heb 12:11 (or 11:12? 11:21?) says all discipline is painful at the time, but will result in a harvest of righteousness and peace... certainly James was sweet natured after the incident and seemed full of peace. I didn't though, and I suspect it is because I lost my cool.
That Hebrews verse is great to check on the effectiveness of the discipline session - again, this is from Ted Tripp. If the child is still defiant - i.e, no harvest of peace and righteousness - he says the discipline session is not yet over.
So, we will keep persevering with Naughty Corner for now - we're giving it until he turns two and a half, and see how it goes. We may then move to spanking. We're holding off spanking right now, because communication is such a vital part of the process, and James' understanding really isn't there yet.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Delivered
Yes! Sophie is finally out!!! I went in for my routine check-up on 11 Aug and my Dr told me I was already 4 cm dilated. So it was straight into the delivery suite, and next thing you know, there she was.
I didn't get to to experience the contraction thing though - I had felt a few very mild menstrual crampy type pains the night before, but they never reached the crawling on floor / throwing up stage. I only realised that day that my Dr's clinic is on a floor with a direct secret passage type connection to the delivery suites in the adjacent hospital building. I thought I'd have to take the lift down, waddle next door, take the lift up... nope. Cool!
The first thing she did was get her nurses to page for an anaesthetist, although I was still half tempted to see if I could cope without one. In the end they had to page 3 different ones cause they were, one after the other, all too busy... I couldn't bring myself to say, "urm, sorry, but I'd like to try without..."
In the end, I think going with the epidural was a good idea... I sailed through my first epidural because I had no idea how uncomfortable it would be, but the second time round I kept flinching because my memory kept saying, "ok, this is the part where it hurts!". The epi went in before Dr broke the water bag, so I didn't feel a thing this time. They kept the dosage at its lowest though, so I did start to feel something towards the end. All in, it lasted about 3 hours, nearly the same as my first. : )
Recovery was much faster this time round, had a great time in the hospital the first two days and was trawling down to the shops on the third day (I stayed four days, for non-medical reasons : P ). Wheee.
Sophie is now 14 days old
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Waiting
Five days to go til due date...
Aren't second babies supposed to come earlier? I'm ok, only thing is the itch on my belly is driving me crazy!!! Baby must be growing at tremendous rate, or maybe its because she's moving into a new position - my tummy has been stretched too vigorously in the last few days, hence killer itch. My belly button has also inverted itself. These are parts of my body that have never had direct contact with sunlight EVER in my life. This makes me strangely happy for my belly button - getting an airing, you know, for first time in 30 plus years : ).
Anyway, my Dr says that if I am even a little dilated when I see her tomorrow, she may go ahead and check me in. ? Does that mean an inducement? Because, who knows how long the early dilation process will take? I'm ok with being induced, it just would be interesting to have it start naturally, since James was induced too. I still have no idea what an early labour contraction or a breaking water bag feels like.
On the other hand, I know what bursting the water bag feels like, and am not thrilled to refamiliarise myself again. Yowch.
Haha, I was going to be a hero (well, half a hero) and ask for an epidural on standby. But my Dr said, better just decide to have it cause you're so tense. I think the tension though, was because at last check up, EH was still in HK - for the past 2 weeks had been extremely focused on preventing early baby pop - mainly by (uselessly) tensing up internal muscles and moving about very gingerly. The day EH came back, I started carrying James (that's 13.5 kg plus 13.5 kg from pregnancy = 27 kg!) and throwing him about, going to the supermarket and buying value pack diapers, detergent, milk powder... but to no avail - baby still resolutely in situ.
On dates - I like nice numbers. Not in a superstitious way, but alliterative, I think. Since baby is coming out 08.2006, it would be so cool if she could come out 26th (no chance) or 6th or 16th. 7 and 9 are just so random, like James' - 19.11.04, or EH - 14.05.73. I like mine : ) - 12.5.75 but anything in 05.75 would have been nice (though, 5.5.75 or 15.5.75 might be a little too much), just like anything in 06.06 would have been nice. My current, attainable prefs are for 16. But I don't mind 11 or 12, ok with 10 and 13, and hope not 14 because I don't like 4 for some reason - very smug number, "haha, I'm #4". unlike 3, which is I think, a very friendly, unpretentious number. I'm a little wary of 8, because everyone Chinese likes 8 - sort of like going to watch a movie you really anticipated (X Men 3, for ex) and coming away a bit flat because it didn't quite live up. On the other hand, 8 is such a fat, comfortable looking number that it almost makes up for its overwhelming popularity - it's not its fault everyone likes it!
You can go ahead and call me mad - I would just take it as a compliment : ) .
Aren't second babies supposed to come earlier? I'm ok, only thing is the itch on my belly is driving me crazy!!! Baby must be growing at tremendous rate, or maybe its because she's moving into a new position - my tummy has been stretched too vigorously in the last few days, hence killer itch. My belly button has also inverted itself. These are parts of my body that have never had direct contact with sunlight EVER in my life. This makes me strangely happy for my belly button - getting an airing, you know, for first time in 30 plus years : ).
Anyway, my Dr says that if I am even a little dilated when I see her tomorrow, she may go ahead and check me in. ? Does that mean an inducement? Because, who knows how long the early dilation process will take? I'm ok with being induced, it just would be interesting to have it start naturally, since James was induced too. I still have no idea what an early labour contraction or a breaking water bag feels like.
On the other hand, I know what bursting the water bag feels like, and am not thrilled to refamiliarise myself again. Yowch.
Haha, I was going to be a hero (well, half a hero) and ask for an epidural on standby. But my Dr said, better just decide to have it cause you're so tense. I think the tension though, was because at last check up, EH was still in HK - for the past 2 weeks had been extremely focused on preventing early baby pop - mainly by (uselessly) tensing up internal muscles and moving about very gingerly. The day EH came back, I started carrying James (that's 13.5 kg plus 13.5 kg from pregnancy = 27 kg!) and throwing him about, going to the supermarket and buying value pack diapers, detergent, milk powder... but to no avail - baby still resolutely in situ.
On dates - I like nice numbers. Not in a superstitious way, but alliterative, I think. Since baby is coming out 08.2006, it would be so cool if she could come out 26th (no chance) or 6th or 16th. 7 and 9 are just so random, like James' - 19.11.04, or EH - 14.05.73. I like mine : ) - 12.5.75 but anything in 05.75 would have been nice (though, 5.5.75 or 15.5.75 might be a little too much), just like anything in 06.06 would have been nice. My current, attainable prefs are for 16. But I don't mind 11 or 12, ok with 10 and 13, and hope not 14 because I don't like 4 for some reason - very smug number, "haha, I'm #4". unlike 3, which is I think, a very friendly, unpretentious number. I'm a little wary of 8, because everyone Chinese likes 8 - sort of like going to watch a movie you really anticipated (X Men 3, for ex) and coming away a bit flat because it didn't quite live up. On the other hand, 8 is such a fat, comfortable looking number that it almost makes up for its overwhelming popularity - it's not its fault everyone likes it!
You can go ahead and call me mad - I would just take it as a compliment : ) .
Sunday, August 06, 2006
High Needs / Spirited / Strong willed
So many ways of referring to the more or less the same thing - of course there is also ADD...
IS James "high needs"? I made a quick scan of the babycenter boards, and the descriptions given there are so much "more" than what he is. On the other hand, I have yet to encounter children significantly more intense then he is in real life. As or slightly more, maybe.
I know all toddlers display these behaviours, but he seems to to be so much more intense - extremely impatient; snatches; whines, screams, loudness - whether happy or angry, moves from extremes of emotions instantaneously; intense tantrums. More worrying is his lack of interest - he often doesn't appear to be listening, or engaged the way other kids are; he doesn't focus on one activity for long; it's hard to capture his attention sometimes - you can call him, put your face infront of him and speak to him, but he will be staring off into space, daydreaming.
Now, I've read the symptoms listed, and it all sounds like potential ADHD. But I can't believe that this is all negative. While he is so intense and it often leads to embarrasment for us in public - there is something very endearing about his independence.
IS James "high needs"? I made a quick scan of the babycenter boards, and the descriptions given there are so much "more" than what he is. On the other hand, I have yet to encounter children significantly more intense then he is in real life. As or slightly more, maybe.
I know all toddlers display these behaviours, but he seems to to be so much more intense - extremely impatient; snatches; whines, screams, loudness - whether happy or angry, moves from extremes of emotions instantaneously; intense tantrums. More worrying is his lack of interest - he often doesn't appear to be listening, or engaged the way other kids are; he doesn't focus on one activity for long; it's hard to capture his attention sometimes - you can call him, put your face infront of him and speak to him, but he will be staring off into space, daydreaming.
Now, I've read the symptoms listed, and it all sounds like potential ADHD. But I can't believe that this is all negative. While he is so intense and it often leads to embarrasment for us in public - there is something very endearing about his independence.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Some videos of James
Just trying to see if this works:
James walking
James' love affair with the mirror
These were taken nearly 6 months ago - he learnt to stand the day before CNY, and the walking came soon after.
I've been thinking hard on how we can make the transition to 2-kid family easier for James... Been reading up and trying out various recommendations
Anyway, read from book and (more convincingly) heard from real life parents that you can only prepare the kid so much - you might make the first two days a little less of a shock, but that's about it. Whether he subsequently recieves baby with open arms or wants to smother her when no one is looking will depend entirely on his personality.
Thinking about our little playground vigilante... somehow, I'm steeling myself for the worst. He is really very good at tossing things into the cot.
James walking
James' love affair with the mirror
These were taken nearly 6 months ago - he learnt to stand the day before CNY, and the walking came soon after.
I've been thinking hard on how we can make the transition to 2-kid family easier for James... Been reading up and trying out various recommendations
Anyway, read from book and (more convincingly) heard from real life parents that you can only prepare the kid so much - you might make the first two days a little less of a shock, but that's about it. Whether he subsequently recieves baby with open arms or wants to smother her when no one is looking will depend entirely on his personality.
Thinking about our little playground vigilante... somehow, I'm steeling myself for the worst. He is really very good at tossing things into the cot.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
EH's first day at work
Sorry dear, I have to do this - it's too funny to not share.
EH started work last Monday in HK. He picked up a tube of lip balm on the way to office, because his lips can chap quite badly. He slathered it on liberally and forgot all about it.
The first morning was busy, mainly spent meeting his new colleagues. He was brought round to meet derivatives traders, support staff, big boss. He was a bit puzzled, because he was earning some queer looks, but he didn't worry too much about it, there was too much to do.
Finally, he got a chance for a toilet break. He did his thing, then went to sink to wash up, looked in mirror and.... WT~!!!! Why am I wearing LIPSTICK?!! #@!!&&*!
It turns out the lipbalm he bought was tinted. You would think, even if the name "Cherry Kiss" didn't tip him off, the bright red tint to the stick of lipbalm would...?!!
Don't worry dear, at least you made a big impression on your first day! : ) I'm sure it made your new colleagues' morning - they probably think the new prop trader is a cross dresser on the weekends, and just forgot to take off his lipstick that day...
EH started work last Monday in HK. He picked up a tube of lip balm on the way to office, because his lips can chap quite badly. He slathered it on liberally and forgot all about it.
The first morning was busy, mainly spent meeting his new colleagues. He was brought round to meet derivatives traders, support staff, big boss. He was a bit puzzled, because he was earning some queer looks, but he didn't worry too much about it, there was too much to do.
Finally, he got a chance for a toilet break. He did his thing, then went to sink to wash up, looked in mirror and.... WT~!!!! Why am I wearing LIPSTICK?!! #@!!&&*!
It turns out the lipbalm he bought was tinted. You would think, even if the name "Cherry Kiss" didn't tip him off, the bright red tint to the stick of lipbalm would...?!!
Don't worry dear, at least you made a big impression on your first day! : ) I'm sure it made your new colleagues' morning - they probably think the new prop trader is a cross dresser on the weekends, and just forgot to take off his lipstick that day...
So what's happened since Feb 06?
I'll try and be brief (ha ha like real):
That's about it for major stuff... EH and I are both expanding our repertoire of kiddie songs - and I used to worry that I only knew about 3 kids songs. Am quite proud of knowing words to more obscure ditties like "2 little dickie birds", "Peter and Paul went to pray" : ) Some of these songs stick quite badly in the brain - to the point where EH was whistling "Cockadoodledoo, my dame has lost a shoe" at work, earning wierd look from colleague and condescending "Isn't that a kid's song?"
EH found it hard to get the NAsian work culture and it was starting to weigh on him. Job search started in Feb, and it has been quite a roller coaster ride. First, nothing seemed to come up; then a couple of opportunities came along and dragged on, subsequently decided against. A couple more came up, one of which went really well - just as we neared resolution, suddenly lots of new and exciting ops started popping up - like last minute barrage to blindside you! - but God gave EH discernment and he stuck to the one that was going well....
He is one week into it, and very happy : ). He says, of all (many) jobs held, this is closest to 'dream' job: lots of autonomy and very little red tape / culture crap (eg. come in earlier and stay later than boss even if you are doing nothing more than cutting toenails at desk). Yay! He is in Hong Kong for 2 weeks. Should have been a month, it's just that....
Yep: I am now 37 weeks + 6 days into it! Baby is a girl, average size - should be about 2.7-3 kg when she appears. James was 3.58... Pregnancy has been very smooth save for a little nausea in first tri. She's very active, but not as explosive as her brother - he made me feel like I had a canon ball richocheting around inside me, or a trampolinist practising jumps on my bladder. She is very much more gentle, thank goodness. We are hoping this translates to quiet, mellow baby, but I suppose you can never be sure...
That's about it for major stuff... EH and I are both expanding our repertoire of kiddie songs - and I used to worry that I only knew about 3 kids songs. Am quite proud of knowing words to more obscure ditties like "2 little dickie birds", "Peter and Paul went to pray" : ) Some of these songs stick quite badly in the brain - to the point where EH was whistling "Cockadoodledoo, my dame has lost a shoe" at work, earning wierd look from colleague and condescending "Isn't that a kid's song?"
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