Breathe.
Let me just remind myself before I get carried away by the world, Psalm 16:2 "I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." Exactly. So please, silly, wayward, stubborn brain, don't be beguiled into wasting time on meaningless preoccupations!
v5 "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance"
I circled "you have assigned" in my bible and underlined "portion" and "cup". Does it refer to just the good stuff in life, or everything in my life? Portion has a positive connotation to my mind - linking to provision, abundance. Cup - could go either way. I think of drink being refreshing and necessary - but of course, it reminds me of the cup Jesus asked to have taken away - bitter leas and all. In the final analysis, I think it probably refers to everything in my life, good or bad - they are all part and parcel of the portion and cup my loving father has assigned - how marvelous is that word too! He personally assigned! - to me.
Ok. Everything. Assigned by God.
I need to push that to specific things now - looking at the bad stuff in life. There's bad stuff that's just there. Then bad stuff that happens as a consequence of my sin.
Bad stuff that's just there. Assigned by God. uh-huh. I don't want to raise an example that is theoretical for me. So. This depressive bent and self-destructive personality. OK. People are going to say, these come under the second category, that my depression and personality are products of my disobediance. maybe. Hmm. But! Part of personality is NATURE and not NURTURE - this has to be true, otherwise I have no explanation for why my kids are so different! And there must have been something really repulsive in my nature to start with, else I cannot explain why I was universally despised as a child. As a child! I had no self-conscious life then. I acted purely on instinct. Yet all kinds of people disliked me. My cousins, mainly. I think I annoyed my aunts too. My mum - definitely irritated her. So I think that qualifies for me, as something bad in my life that was just there. Assigned by God. Hmmm. I don't really have a problem with this. I keep clinging on to the hope that Christ will transform me and I shall one day be rid of debilitating anti-social behaviors - not for my sake, please! But honestly how can I possibly imagine for myself proper christian fellowship and love, wholeness and freedom IF God does not first remove this personality tic from me? And EVEN if He doesn't remove this from me, yet still somehow He will accomplish christian fellowship, love etc etc through me bec that is His will for every believer - then all Glory to God - truly! Personally I think transforming me would be a "better" miracle, cause, you know, restored, healthy personality = better testimony then messed up, anti-social yet somehow still (how?) loving, right? But, whatever you think is best, is best, God!! My point - my hope in sanctification and wholeness and restoration whether in this lifetime or in heaven fully resigns me -satisfied, too - to whatever bad stuff that just happens to be there. For now. And hopefully, will be able to resign me joyfully in future too, no matter what other bad stuff just happens.
So then. Bad stuff that happens as a consequence of my sin. Assigned by God. Hmm. OK, God definitely does not assign for me to sin. But does he assign for me to experience the consequences of my sins? Mmmhmm, yes. It's like cause and effect, natural laws of nature. If you do x, y will happen. The ultimate consequence, of course, is death. But there are other immediate, present consequences as well that follow.
Ah... but here is interesting thing to consider. Psalmist was writing before Christ. Now we are believers in Christ. And there's something different. Now, the ultimate consequence of my sin - death - Christ has borne for me. In effect, God assigned that too Christ, away from us. Amazing! And what of the immediate, present consequences of sin? For example, if I steal something. Consequence: guilt; if found out: punishment by law, loss of reputation, family suffers along with me, prison time, restitution. Christ also bore all these for me. Sure, there is a debt to society to which I am answerable, and society follows the law and all those legal consequences - jail time etc - are inescapable, society doesn't show mercy, it follows the law. You have to pay. But the debt to God - the guilt, the sin against Him, separation - these Christ also bore. I don't have to come under those. Not even to begin with. Hmm. Thievery is not good example because I can't relate to personal experience. Suppose I take real life ex. Losing my temper at my kids and saying mean and destructive things. Spanking them in anger, not with control. Consequences: my kids personalities are hurt, their sense of safety and trust broken, their future character development impacted, passing on such bad habits to them so future generations are impacted too. Strained family relationships.
Christ has borne it all. He has. These are just and natural consequences for my failings. But at the cross, Christ took ALL the consequences of ALL my sins upon Himself. It is totally undeserved. I can continue to believe that He has not delivered me from these consequences - and invariably believe these consequences into being as a result. Or, I can accept and embrace the completeness and awesomeness of His saving work, and receive freedom from these consequences, and truly, be free indeed.
Part of me still thinks that since Christ has taken the ultimate penalty upon Himself, then it is incumbent upon us to then live uprightly in response, and suffer the present consequences of our failures because "that would be fair". Like somehow, it would be too much to expect for God to also free us from present consequences of sin as He has already taken away the worst - He has already done so much, dare we expect more? So I sometimes feel resigned to living with consequences of sins I have committed. I don't even dare ask God to take them away - no way! I deserve it!
Yet - it never was about "fair" to begin with. Jesus dying in our place - how was that fair? And when the price paid was so high - it seems really petty to say, "Jesus' death only won us freedom from our deaths, everything else we still have to pay for." Hello. I think His death was worth much more than just our lives. Come on! He's God!!! And, what about His stripes! The agony? All that other suffering? All that just to buy back our lives at the end of the day, but nothing else in the present? Can't be.
Think about it. Jesus died for me. I know I will have eternal life in heaven. In the mean time, whilst I'm still on earth, out of gratitude, I have to live a good life. If I fail, then I shall have to bear with all the bad consequences that follow. If I want a fruitful, abundant life, then it's contingent on me living a good life, otherwise I'm going to be handicapped by those bad consequences which will distract me from bearing fruit. What's RIGHT about this picture? Nothing!! Fruitfulness, abundant life, usefulness - becomes dependent on ME living rightly in response to God - when it is CLEARLY NOT BY OUR OWN EFFORTS. This is wrong wrong wrong! PRAISE GOD! I can boldly come to His presence after I sin and lay those consequences at His feet, and I can trust Him to remove them from me because His sacrifice on the cross paid for them ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
:-) Excellent! I feel so pumped now, and that was just after looking at HALF of verse!
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