At the Fish & Co, Changi Airport - the day EH left for HK, on a weeklong study/business trip
Sophie and James together...
Her first passport photo!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Photos
Just three ...
At the Fish & Co, Changi Airport - the day EH left for HK, on a weeklong study/business trip
Sophie and James together...
Her first passport photo!
At the Fish & Co, Changi Airport - the day EH left for HK, on a weeklong study/business trip
Sophie and James together...
Her first passport photo!
And four months later...
So much for regular posting : (- with two kids, I hardly have the time to go to the bathroom, let alone blog. James has also fallen in love with our computer, because I rather foolishly introduced him to the joys of Sesame Workshop and Thomas and Friends. These are great websites for kids, by the way - James loves playing Elmo's key-boardorama, which explains why he calls our computer "Mo-Mo". Needless to say, I can never be on the computer whilst he's around or I risk being plagued by an endless background drone of "Mo-Mo... Mo-Mo..", building in intensity until the inevitable crash. Even when he's napping, it's tough if Sophie is awake - she hates lying down and can't sit on her own yet. I could leave her on the mattress but she has a very piercing cry. Anyway, she'd wake James, and I'd be back to square one again. So I'll surf with her sitting on my lap - can't type one handed, or can't be bothered to anyway. That's why my e-mails have become so terse. Today is a rare occasion! It's Jame's nap time, and for once it has coincided with Sophie's! And I haven't anything else pressing to do... well, I'm sure I would if I thought hard enough about it, but I want to type!
Two kids is a big step up from one. I think, especially for pampered Singaporeans with our support systems and maids. Ee Han and I have found it really hard making time just for ourselves. Going out means bringing at least one of the kids along. We like taking Sophie out at mealtimes - because she's not yet independently mobile.
James has been very very good with her though - initially he got a little jealous when I picked her up, but now he's fine with it. He still hates for daddy or our helper to carry her. But we've noticed a boost in his general awareness & maturity since she came along, and now he likes laughing, dancing and playing with her, and is even a little better at playing with others. He has become more tantrumy though - dunno if its mainly teething or mainly new baby or whatever, it's been painful. Also, with growing awareness has come conscious and deliberate disobediance... so we thought it was time to start disciplining.
Yuk, the "d" word. We really delayed implementing it, but things have been getting worse. It came to a point, a few weeks ago, when we both looked at each other and said, "He rules our house!" That was the last straw, and we came up with a set of household rules (modelled off a set we got at a parenting conference at church) which we have stuck on the wall, along with our "Naughty corner" procedure and some bible verses about discipline, to encourage us and strengthen our will when we get weak!
Two resources I've used:
Ted Tripp has terrible reviews just because he is pro-caning, but I really doubt those negative reviewers have read his book through. The method he advocates is so far from what the common idea of caning is. We love the biblical grounding this book has. If you're christian and looking for a biblical way to raise your kids, I really would encourage you to read the book. We found it a real challenge for ourselves. It certainly made us think: are we going to subscribe to the world and what is culturally condoned, or are we prepared to do something that we'll be vilified for, provided it is (and we feel it is) biblically justified? The only thing is, he has intepreted "the rod" quite literally, to mean corporal punishment. Yet, the rod could refer to "discipline", in any form, whether corporal or not? That said, if the aim of discipline is to bring around an awareness of wrong doing and to awaken the conscience, then maybe physical punishment gets the child there quicker. You know how the bible talks about brokeness in spirit? For a child, getting a controlled spanking might be the way to bring him there. Certainly reasoning alone is OUT. Just look at Proverbs - foolishness is bound up in a child's heart and a fool resists instruction, insults and mocks those who try and teach him.
Supernanny is our "for the time being" method. It's been two weeks and I wonder if we are some how doing it wrong? Yesterday, I was at it with James for 2 whole hours because he would not stay in his corner for 2 minutes. From what I've seen on tele, if the child leaves the naughty corner, and isn't prepared to apologise, you are meant to bring him back, explain again why he's there, and start the 2 minutes all over again...? Well, you can imagine how many times I had to bring him back to his corner over that 2 hour period - he just wouldn't stay. He wasn't sorry either, he was angry-crying/screaming the whole time, and still trying to hit me (which is what got him there in the first place). It was difficult to keep my cool, and my "low authoritative voice" got more than a little harried. FInally he stayed for an accelerated 2 minutes (I cut the time to 1.5 minutes). I went to get him and he apologised (- I think he meant it, a little. But I do know he partly did it to get out) and I let it go. Heb 12:11 (or 11:12? 11:21?) says all discipline is painful at the time, but will result in a harvest of righteousness and peace... certainly James was sweet natured after the incident and seemed full of peace. I didn't though, and I suspect it is because I lost my cool.
That Hebrews verse is great to check on the effectiveness of the discipline session - again, this is from Ted Tripp. If the child is still defiant - i.e, no harvest of peace and righteousness - he says the discipline session is not yet over.
So, we will keep persevering with Naughty Corner for now - we're giving it until he turns two and a half, and see how it goes. We may then move to spanking. We're holding off spanking right now, because communication is such a vital part of the process, and James' understanding really isn't there yet.
Two kids is a big step up from one. I think, especially for pampered Singaporeans with our support systems and maids. Ee Han and I have found it really hard making time just for ourselves. Going out means bringing at least one of the kids along. We like taking Sophie out at mealtimes - because she's not yet independently mobile.
James has been very very good with her though - initially he got a little jealous when I picked her up, but now he's fine with it. He still hates for daddy or our helper to carry her. But we've noticed a boost in his general awareness & maturity since she came along, and now he likes laughing, dancing and playing with her, and is even a little better at playing with others. He has become more tantrumy though - dunno if its mainly teething or mainly new baby or whatever, it's been painful. Also, with growing awareness has come conscious and deliberate disobediance... so we thought it was time to start disciplining.
Yuk, the "d" word. We really delayed implementing it, but things have been getting worse. It came to a point, a few weeks ago, when we both looked at each other and said, "He rules our house!" That was the last straw, and we came up with a set of household rules (modelled off a set we got at a parenting conference at church) which we have stuck on the wall, along with our "Naughty corner" procedure and some bible verses about discipline, to encourage us and strengthen our will when we get weak!
Two resources I've used:
Ted Tripp has terrible reviews just because he is pro-caning, but I really doubt those negative reviewers have read his book through. The method he advocates is so far from what the common idea of caning is. We love the biblical grounding this book has. If you're christian and looking for a biblical way to raise your kids, I really would encourage you to read the book. We found it a real challenge for ourselves. It certainly made us think: are we going to subscribe to the world and what is culturally condoned, or are we prepared to do something that we'll be vilified for, provided it is (and we feel it is) biblically justified? The only thing is, he has intepreted "the rod" quite literally, to mean corporal punishment. Yet, the rod could refer to "discipline", in any form, whether corporal or not? That said, if the aim of discipline is to bring around an awareness of wrong doing and to awaken the conscience, then maybe physical punishment gets the child there quicker. You know how the bible talks about brokeness in spirit? For a child, getting a controlled spanking might be the way to bring him there. Certainly reasoning alone is OUT. Just look at Proverbs - foolishness is bound up in a child's heart and a fool resists instruction, insults and mocks those who try and teach him.
Supernanny is our "for the time being" method. It's been two weeks and I wonder if we are some how doing it wrong? Yesterday, I was at it with James for 2 whole hours because he would not stay in his corner for 2 minutes. From what I've seen on tele, if the child leaves the naughty corner, and isn't prepared to apologise, you are meant to bring him back, explain again why he's there, and start the 2 minutes all over again...? Well, you can imagine how many times I had to bring him back to his corner over that 2 hour period - he just wouldn't stay. He wasn't sorry either, he was angry-crying/screaming the whole time, and still trying to hit me (which is what got him there in the first place). It was difficult to keep my cool, and my "low authoritative voice" got more than a little harried. FInally he stayed for an accelerated 2 minutes (I cut the time to 1.5 minutes). I went to get him and he apologised (- I think he meant it, a little. But I do know he partly did it to get out) and I let it go. Heb 12:11 (or 11:12? 11:21?) says all discipline is painful at the time, but will result in a harvest of righteousness and peace... certainly James was sweet natured after the incident and seemed full of peace. I didn't though, and I suspect it is because I lost my cool.
That Hebrews verse is great to check on the effectiveness of the discipline session - again, this is from Ted Tripp. If the child is still defiant - i.e, no harvest of peace and righteousness - he says the discipline session is not yet over.
So, we will keep persevering with Naughty Corner for now - we're giving it until he turns two and a half, and see how it goes. We may then move to spanking. We're holding off spanking right now, because communication is such a vital part of the process, and James' understanding really isn't there yet.
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